27 Nov Is your Career a Failing Marriage?

For all those who are or have been in wedlock for at least a couple of years will agree if I say they are the most romantic, passionate, happy years of any couple’s married life. So full of energy, enthusiasm, adventure, surprises – basically brimming with excitement and positivity. For all those who, after reading has gone into flashback with a sigh – WHY THE SIGH?

Has something changed? Many will agree that most of the above adjectives do not resonate with their current married life. To the extent that some are on all fours trying to get back on their feet while some are even looking for an escape!  So my question is, are you at the same point in your career? And are you looking to get back on track or rather run away from your situation? So here’s my take on this really common scenario.

Passion is THE Sentiment

Two different individuals coming together as one is marriage. So ask yourself – Why did you come together in the first place? Many would agree if I use the term passion. The passion of shared dreams, goals, hopes, happiness, and above all a passion to share life till the end of the tunnel. But over time many forget, there may be any number of tunnels before you cross the final one, you just need to hold onto those dreams and goals without forking along the way.

Passion more often fades with time and nothing wrong with that. We all go through this stage of inertia where we are in a comfort zone of fixed routine and are reluctant to put in that extra effort to surprise our spouse. Similarly, we can see the rungs left to climb on our ladder but are too lazy to get up while being completely aware of that constant nagging feeling of lack of enthusiasm. This lack of enthusiasm and passion is clearly seen in our work. Finding ways to reignite that passion is so important. The rest just follows. Revisit your passionate days, how hard you worked to be in the position you are today, compare your level of enthusiasm, see if you find the difference, reflect, and work on it.

Commitment Issues

It is not unusual for either of the spouses to stray away along their journey. Reasons cited range from incompatibility, craving different life experiences, which generally sums up to falling out of love.

How true are these very reasons when it comes to your career! When siblings born of the same parents can be so different in personality, how much more, people coming from completely different backgrounds! Commitment on not just an individual level but also on a team level is crucial for the best results. Any lingering conflicts should be addressed immediately and a healthy relationship should be maintained with your colleagues, after all the camaraderie is the fun part in teamwork. It gives you a reason to leave home for work with a smile in your heart. Before eyeing a job under a different employer, for the sake of better experience or an upgrade, seek new challenges in the current job. Ask yourself – Would changing employer bring back the spark in your career? If yes, what would be the changes that appeal to your understanding that could be implemented in the current job? If you can fall out of love, I guarantee, with a little help you can fall right back in just like couples who realize the value of what they missed and get back together.

Stagnation

Do you feel your career is not progressing as per your expectations? And so are many marriages. When you feel, your marriage has stopped adding value to your life as an individual or as a couple and you are getting bitter instead of better, what do you do? You try to make amends and bring it back on track or rather take decisions for its betterment.

I recommend you analyze if you are stuck in the position due to a lack of options and opportunities or due to lack of interest and initiative. If it’s the former, your concern should be taken up by the management and considered as feedback so they understand and realize that it could be one of the pain points affecting their productivity. And if it’s the latter, you need to buckle up and grab any opportunity that presents itself to boost your career. Reskilling and upskilling are the norms of the day. Strive to bridge any skill gaps you may be aware of or informed of.

Communication

If you’ve read about couples celebrating their diamond jubilees, one common aspect in their marriages stand out – stress on the importance of communication. It is said; never to take your disagreements to bed. Communication is the key to all long-lasting relationships. Marriage or Career – both stand on the foundation of communication. If not for this, the human race would have never evolved! So why do we forget such a simple solution to most of our problems?

Mutual understanding goes a long way in building careers. Always communicate your concerns, expectations, or even appreciations to the right people while accepting others’ perspectives too. There is a host of tools available to make it easier for you – emails, chats, phone calls (audio/video), and of course the unbeatable and most effective mode to say the least and that is, face-to-face in person. You have to communicate your feelings to have an impact. People will listen only if you voice your opinions.

De-Stress

“The time to relax is when you don’t have time for it.”– Sydney J. Harris

It is a time-proven fact, we all need to take a break every once a while. Else what is life without a little fun and that routinely elusive peace of mind? Every family needs a vacation. Remember, personal problems or health issues can have a major impact on your productivity. A mind with no stress could be a mind full of positivity and possibilities. So always make sure you take that break, relax, take in nature, spend time with your loved ones, tie up all those loose ends you’ve been wanting to for so long and mend any glitches in your relationship. So when you’re back, you are fresh, agile, and raring to go.

Seek Counseling

The first thing anyone advises a couple going through a rough patch is to see a marriage counselor. So I have truly never been able to fathom the reluctance on the part of employees to seek counseling from experts when it comes to their careers!

We are here to not just help you start a career but also grow in it. Everyone at some point or another has reached the juncture when certain life or career-changing decisions have to be taken and there are no two ways about it. Do yourself a favor and seek a mentor who can guide and assist you in arriving on the right decision.

Final Thoughts

Always remember, a failing marriage means the relationship is failing but ALIVE not dead! The same applies to your career. As long as anything is alive, there is hope for growth. So take heart, chin up, and be brave enough to explore all avenues to identify the rationale behind a failing career just like you would give your best to rebuild your relationship. Do not shy away from accepting your own shortcomings too. Passion can be reignited, new perspectives can be put in place; there is nothing that a positive makeover cannot do.